Some people become grumpy misanthropes with age, while others become energetic and look younger than their years. The secret to these metamorphoses lies in the presence or absence of simple daily habits that anyone can adopt.
We all cope with minor annoyances and major challenges differently, especially as we get older. Some people might throw a fit over a delay at the checkout counter, while others remain resilient even when faced with power outages in the middle of winter.
Some people’s personalities become more difficult with age, due to accumulated grievances and disappointments, while others remain easygoing, as if they acquire a special magnetism that draws others in. Psychologists believe that those who age with dignity, without holding grudges or becoming embittered, possesscertain habitsand apply them regularly and consistently. There are at least seven such habits.
1. Practice selective forgetting
Some memories stick like thorns, while others float away like dandelion fluff. Those who have mastered the art of choosing the memories that deserve a place in their memory remain happy and at ease in old age. They don’t pretend bad things never happened, but they refuse to be forever stuck in past grievances.
You can control your thoughts, so allow yourself to remember only the good – and you will move forward, and not go in circles.
2. Remain in the position of a learner and maintain curiosity
People who improve with age perceive life as a never-ending lesson, and themselves as its students. This is the safest position, because you believe that life will lead you down the right path if you are willing to accept its guidance.
Stay open to new experiences: read books, don’t be afraid to start drawing or playing the piano, learn languages, try unfamiliar foods, and explore new things. This keeps your mind flexible and makes people more engaging conversationalists.
Without curiosity, we begin to freeze, turning into monuments to our own opinions, into those who endlessly repeat: “But in my time…”
3. Maintain a sense of humor
People who age gracefully are able to find humor even in things that would horrify others. They know that most mistakes can be corrected, and awkward moments are quickly forgotten. And even if things seem bad now, they often look back on them with laughter later.
This doesn’t mean you should be frivolous about tragedy or pain—your own or others’. But taking yourself and life too seriously is a bad choice. Remember the famous line from Yankovsky’s character? Repeat it often.
I understand what your problem is. You are too serious. All the stupidities on earth have been committed with precisely this expression on your face… Smile, gentlemen… Smile…
Grigory Gorin, “That Same Munchausen”
4. Build meaningful relationships
People who age gracefully invest in the relationships that fulfill them and let go of those that drain them. And they remember: quality matters more than quantity. They spend time with those who bring out the best in them, genuinely support them, and value them. And they do the same.
5. Adapt to change without losing yourself
“The only constant is change,” said the philosopher Heraclitus. Therefore, it’s so important not to fight the current you find yourself in and can’t resist, but to gently adapt to it. But don’t abandon your values or pretend to be someone you’re not.
So much has already happened: the fall of political regimes, the internet revolution, new technologies, the pandemic, and shifting cultural values! People who successfully navigate these changes remain open to new opportunities. They master instant messaging apps and learn how to jot down notes, but they can also send a handwritten letter to their loved ones. They accept the inevitable, but do not give up what has always been important to them.
6. Practice gratitude
This isn’t toxic positivism or a denial of life’s difficulties. It’s a conscious choice to notice the good that exists alongside the difficulties: delicious tea, warmth in the pipes, sunshine outside, the absence of pain, a pleasant conversation with a loved one.
Express gratitude for everything, even the simplest little things—it changes your perspective. You stop focusing on what you lack and notice the good things you do have.
7. Help others
Perhaps the most wonderful habit of those who age gracefully is their desire to be of service to others at every opportunity. This is not done out of a sense of duty or a desire to “score points,” but with sincerity and heart. The habit of helping others (without lecturing or offering unsolicited advice) enriches our own lives and reminds us that we can make a difference, regardless of age.
