Our parents taught us safety precautions so we wouldn’t accidentally start a fire at home or step on a snake in the woods. As teenagers, we learned that unprotected sex can lead to health problems. Psychology books teach, for example, how to show aggression or build relationships without harming ourselves or others. All of this is basic safety that shouldn’t be neglected.
But there’s another side to this. What if, contrary to the common advice to leave our “comfort zones” from time to time, we actually settle into them? For example, a person consciously disavows any negative news (or emotions), literally drawing a protective circle—of course, they find dozens of justifications for this. Or parents who are convinced their child is a chosen one, surrounded by nasty, clueless peers who will ruin the child prodigy. Such adults may enroll their child in all sorts of clubs and activities, depriving them of free time and childhood. Of course, they also find an excuse for this: “other kids are a bad influence on you.”
What is this phenomenon and what does it actually lead to? We’ll explain “safetism”—an “ecological” concept with not-so-ecological consequences for the psyche.
Is the world a dangerous place?
Safetyism is a culture of total security. The concept was first coined by American researchers—social psychologist Jonathan Haidt and lawyer Greg Lukyanov. Safetyism is based on the idea that a person is threatened by danger, and an artificial “bubble” is created around them as a protective “protector.”
Example: Parents try to “filter” their child’s environment under the pretext of protecting them from negative influences. This is a form of safetyism and overprotection. As a result, the child finds themselves in a “distilled” environment and may subsequently have difficulty adapting to reality.
Healthy safety
You’ve probably seen this label on social media: sensitive content. It’s usually used on blurry images to prevent us from accidentally seeing shocking content while scrolling through our feeds. For example, footage from the scene of a major tragedy. We then have a choice: “unmark” the image and watch it anyway.
Such warnings are often considered a form of safety, but this isn’t entirely accurate. There’s a phenomenon called bystander trauma: a person identifies with a tragedy, triggering a release of stress hormones comparable to what might occur in a real participant in the event. Social media tags protect against cruelty and violence, which can destabilize and retraumatize. This is an objective safety technique .
What is security based on?
The answer lies in the belief in three “false” rules.
1) What doesn’t kill you makes you weaker. Therefore, it is recommended to avoid any pain, discomfort, and potentially unpleasant experiences;
2) Always trust your quick negative reactions – and don’t question the reasons behind those feelings;
3) Life is a battlefield between “good” and “bad” people. And we must be “warriors of good.”
A person creates a “bubble” around themselves. Nominally, it protects them from moral discomfort, unpleasant feelings, “bad” people, and a dangerous world.
But in reality, the cult of total safety is harmful. In isolation, we avoid the company of others and are more prone to anxiety. We divide people into “us” and “them,” meaning those who don’t agree with our principles—and this is black-and-white thinking. The more we avoid potential confrontation with negativity, the more paralyzed we become by fear. Furthermore, such an environment fosters all kinds of censorship and hostility. For example, aggressive comments under “before” photos in a community dedicated to plastic surgery. Some people believe they are unsightly, cause discomfort, and therefore should disappear.
Securityism declares dangerous anything that can cause any moral discomfort. In one case, students at Columbia University demanded that the study of Ovid, Homer, Dante, Augustine, Montaigne, and Virginia Woolf be banned because it “threatens their safety.” They claimed that these writers’ texts are “saturated with stories of oppression,” which constitutes an “attack on the student’s character,” and the emotional response they evoke requires support from the instructor—and a warning that students will encounter emotional triggers when reading them.
However, believing in one’s own or others’ fragility often acts as a self-fulfilling prophecy , and avoiding negative experiences makes them increasingly frightening. Similarly, completely eliminating an allergen doesn’t protect against allergies, but rather increases their likelihood. And lack of physical activity leads to muscle atrophy.
Safety and psychotherapy
Therapy can help you feel better, but to do so, you’ll likely have to unearth some experience from your past. This process isn’t always pleasant; it can be disturbing and upsetting. A culture of safety can manifest itself like this: I’ve been avoiding my emotional pain for a long time, and suddenly I’m confronted with it during a session. The easiest way is to blame the therapist: they’re unethical, unprofessional, rude. Then the person lives in the belief that therapy is only suitable if it doesn’t cause the slightest discomfort—otherwise, they should quit.
In reality, each of us is capable of tolerating frustration. And psychotherapy helps us embrace different experiences and emotions rather than hide from them—and this frees us from many problems.
How to free yourself from safetism?
You can try to reconsider your beliefs in this way:
1) “I can tolerate a certain amount of discomfort, and it doesn’t destroy me, but rather increases my resilience.”
2) “Just because something can offend me doesn’t necessarily mean that what’s causing that reaction is actually offensive. Perhaps I’m attributing false motives to others and need to clarify what’s really going on.”
3) “I trust myself, but I admit that I could still be wrong or that my beliefs could change.”
4) “Different views don’t make me good and the other person bad. We think differently, but we’re both fine, and I won’t assume the worst about him.”
P.S.
We do not support violence in any form, nor do we encourage anyone to tolerate the discomfort associated with it. If you experience aggression, insults, or humiliating behavior, it is imperative that you protect yourself from it.
